Remington notices everything: a dog walking on the other side of the street, a delivery truck pulling into a driveway, a sound I haven’t heard yet, and, of course, the occasional squirrel that has apparently appeared for the sole purpose of completely disrupting our walk.
Learning to notice what’s happening around her is important. In fact, that’s what we explored in our last Leadership Lesson. But there’s another part of Remi’s training that has been equally important: just because she notices something doesn’t mean she needs to react to it. That’s a much harder lesson.
Over time, Remi has learned that she can notice another dog without pulling toward it, hear an unfamiliar noise without becoming alarmed, and watch something happening around her before continuing in the direction we were already headed.
She is learning the difference between being aware of something and allowing it to redirect her. I think that’s a distinction many of us could use.
When Everything Seems Urgent
Stephen Covey wrote about the distinction between what is urgent and what is important, and the danger of allowing urgency to crowd out the things that matter most.
I’ve always thought that was an important leadership principle because urgency is remarkably persuasive. An email arrives and seems to require an immediate answer. Someone walks into our office with a problem. A client needs something right now. A new opportunity appears, and suddenly we’re wondering whether we should change our plans to pursue it. Before we know it, we’ve changed direction. And sometimes the urgent issue isn’t even ours.
As leaders, business owners, and experienced professionals, we become accustomed to being the people others turn to when something needs to be solved. We’re capable, responsive, and know how to get things done. Those are valuable strengths, but they can also make us particularly vulnerable to allowing someone else’s urgency to become our priority.
Remington understands this in her own way.
If a squirrel crosses our path, that squirrel has suddenly become very important to Remi. In her mind, I apparently need to recognize the urgency of the situation as well.
There are days when the squirrel wins. But good leash manners require Remi to learn something important: just because something demands her attention doesn’t mean it gets to determine her direction. Perhaps we need to remember the same thing.
Important Doesn’t Always Shout
The problem is that many of the things that matter most don’t demand our immediate attention.
Thinking about the future of your business doesn’t send you a notification. Developing the next generation of leaders doesn’t arrive marked URGENT. Taking time to consider what you want from the next chapter of your life doesn’t interrupt your meeting and insist that you deal with it before lunch.
The important things are often remarkably quiet, which is one reason they are so easy to postpone.
We can spend an entire day responding to emails, solving other people’s problems, attending meetings, handling interruptions, and checking things off our lists. At the end of the day, we’ve been incredibly busy. But have we moved any closer to the outcomes that matter most? That’s a different question. Being productive and making progress aren’t always the same thing.
Don’t Let Someone Else Choose Your Direction
This becomes particularly important when we’re navigating a transition.
When we’re not completely certain about what comes next, we can become even more susceptible to other people’s priorities and opinions. Someone asks us to take on another responsibility. A colleague suggests an opportunity. A family member has an opinion about what we should do. Someone needs our help, and because we know we can help, we assume that means we should.
Before long, everyone else’s priorities have filled the space we needed to figure out our own. That’s where discernment becomes so important.
You can care about someone else’s problem without making it your problem. You can consider an opportunity without pursuing it. You can listen to someone’s advice without changing your direction. And you can recognize that something is urgent to another person without automatically allowing it to become urgent to you. That isn’t selfish. It’s intentional.
Leadership requires knowing what matters enough to deserve your time, energy, and attention—and having the discipline to stay aligned with it.
Create a Pause Before You React
Perhaps the goal isn’t to become less responsive. It’s to become more intentional about our response. When something suddenly demands your attention, create a small pause before allowing it to change your direction.
Ask yourself:
- Is this truly important, or is it simply urgent?
- Does this require my attention right now?
- Is this actually my responsibility?
- If I say yes to this, what important priority am I saying no to?
- Does responding to this move me closer to—or farther away from—the outcomes I’ve decided matter most?
Those few questions can create enough space between the interruption and our response to make a more intentional decision. Remington is still practicing this, of course. There are squirrels in the world, and there will always be squirrels in the world. The goal isn’t to pretend they aren’t there. It’s to notice them without automatically allowing them to choose the direction of the walk.
Remi’s Takeaway
Just because something demands your attention doesn’t mean it deserves to determine your direction.
Notice what’s happening around you. Be responsive when something truly matters. But don’t allow every interruption, request, opportunity, or other person’s urgency to pull you away from the outcomes you’ve decided are important.
A Question to Consider
What feels urgent in your life right now—and is it actually important to where you want to go?
Then ask yourself one more question:
Whose urgency am I carrying that may not need to become my priority?
The answer may reveal where some of your time and energy have been going.
Where Are You on Your Journey?
Transitions create a lot of noise. Other people may have opinions about what you should do next, and new possibilities can suddenly appear everywhere. At the same time, the responsibilities you’ve carried for years don’t simply disappear because you’re beginning to think differently about your future.
That’s why clarity matters.
The Guide to Handling Life Transitions is designed to help you understand where you are before you decide where you’re going. It gives you an opportunity to step away from some of the noise, recognize what may be changing, and begin listening more carefully to what matters to you. Grab your copy and start becoming aware of changes you are experiencing in your life journey.
Your next chapter doesn’t need to be determined by whatever is demanding your attention today.
It can be shaped by what you’ve intentionally decided deserves your attention tomorrow.