If you’ve ever walked a large dog on a leash, you understand pretty quickly that pulling is not a particularly effective long-term strategy. At well over 100 pounds, Remington is perfectly capable of letting me know when she has a different opinion about where we should be going. I could pull harder on the leash, but that doesn’t necessarily make either of us more successful.
What works much better is having Remi understand where we’re going, trust my direction, and choose to move with me. That takes me back to something I’ve taught leaders for years: effective leaders need to know when to pull and when to push. And perhaps just as importantly, they need to recognize when it’s time to stop pulling.
Leadership Begins With Pull
I believe leaders should first pull people toward a vision. People need to understand where you’re going, why you’re going there, and why their contribution matters. A compelling vision creates energy and gives people something to believe in. It also helps them see how their individual work contributes to a larger outcome.
That’s what I think of as pull leadership. You’re not dragging people toward the destination. You’re creating enough clarity, trust, and commitment that they want to move toward it with you. Think about the difference between telling someone, “Here’s what I need you to do,” and helping that person understand, “Here’s what we’re trying to accomplish, here’s why it matters, and here’s the role you play in making it happen.”
One approach may produce compliance; the other has the potential to create commitment. Strong leaders need results, but I would much rather begin by creating commitment to the vision than by relying solely on compliance.
But Vision Alone Doesn’t Produce Results
There comes a point when inspiration has to become execution. People may believe in the vision and still need expectations, deadlines, accountability, feedback, resources, and sometimes a firm nudge forward. That’s where push leadership becomes necessary.
The leader’s role begins to shift from Come with me; here’s where we’re going to Now let’s make sure we get there. Push leadership isn’t about becoming authoritarian. It’s about providing the structure and accountability necessary to turn intention into results.
This is where leadership becomes a balancing act. Too much push and people can begin to feel controlled. Too much pull without enough accountability and you may have an enthusiastic team that never quite gets where it intended to go. Effective leaders learn to recognize which approach the situation requires and adjust accordingly.
What Happens When You Keep Pulling and Nothing Moves?
This is where I think the lesson becomes more interesting. Sometimes leaders keep trying to inspire people who simply aren’t moving. They explain the vision again, have another conversation, provide more encouragement, change the message, offer additional support—and then repeat the process. At some point, the question needs to change from How can I pull harder? to Why am I still having to pull?
Perhaps the vision isn’t clear. Maybe people don’t trust the direction. There may be an obstacle the leader hasn’t recognized, or the employee may not have the skills, resources, or confidence necessary to move forward. Those are legitimate leadership issues, and a good leader has a responsibility to understand and address them.
But there’s another possibility that leaders sometimes resist acknowledging. The person may simply not want to go where the organization needs to go. No amount of inspirational leadership can create genuine commitment for someone who has decided not to make the journey.
That’s when pulling harder stops being effective leadership and starts becoming an enormous expenditure of energy.
Leadership Energy Is a Resource
I don’t think we talk enough about leadership energy. Leaders have finite time, attention, and emotional capacity. Every hour spent repeatedly trying to convince one person to move is an hour that isn’t being invested in the people who are ready to grow, the problems that need solving, or the opportunities that could move the organization forward.
That doesn’t mean we give up on people quickly. Leadership requires patience. People learn at different speeds, respond to change differently, and sometimes need additional support before they’re ready to move. But patience and endless persuasion are not the same thing.
At some point, effective leadership requires discernment. Do I need to do a better job of pulling people toward the vision? Do I need to push by creating greater accountability? Is there an obstacle I need to remove? Or do I need to accept that continuing to pull isn’t going to create the result I’m looking for?
Those questions require very different leadership responses, and knowing which one to choose is part of the work of becoming an effective leader.
We Do This to Ourselves Too
There’s another side to this lesson that I think is particularly important. Sometimes the person we’re continually trying to pull forward is ourselves.
We keep trying to become excited about work that no longer excites us. We convince ourselves to stay committed to goals we set years ago. We keep growing a business because growth has always been our measure of success, or accept another responsibility because that’s what capable people do. When our energy doesn’t follow, we assume we need more discipline, more motivation, or a better plan. Sometimes we do. But sometimes resistance is information.
Perhaps instead of continually asking, How do I make myself keep going? we need to ask, Why am I working so hard to pull myself toward something I’m no longer sure I want?
That doesn’t mean abandoning every goal when it becomes difficult. Anything worth accomplishing will require persistence at times. The challenge is recognizing the difference between something that is difficult because it requires effort and something that is difficult because it no longer aligns with who we are or where we want to go.
Experienced leaders need to be willing to recognize that difference in the people they lead—and in themselves.
Remi’s Takeaway
Good leadership isn’t about pulling harder. It’s knowing when to inspire, when to push for results, and when to recognize that more pulling isn’t the answer.
Sometimes leadership requires creating greater clarity. Sometimes it requires accountability, removing an obstacle, or providing additional support. And sometimes it requires having the courage to stop expending energy on an approach that simply isn’t creating movement.
A Question to Consider
Where are you still pulling harder when the situation may be asking you to lead differently?
If you’re thinking about your team, consider what might actually be preventing movement. Is it a lack of understanding, trust, resources, ability, accountability—or willingness?
If you’re thinking about yourself, the question becomes more personal: Am I facing something difficult that requires persistence, or am I trying to force myself toward something that no longer fits? Knowing the difference matters.
Where Are You Still Pulling?
Sometimes we need more persistence. Sometimes we need a different leadership approach. And sometimes the fact that we’re having to work so hard to create movement is information worth paying attention to.
If you’re finding yourself continually pulling at a business, career, team, or way of working that doesn’t seem to be moving anymore, I’d like to hear what’s happening.
Send me a message and simply write “PULLING.” Tell me where you feel stuck. I’ll personally respond, and we can begin thinking about whether you need to pull differently, push differently—or ask a different question altogether.
Not ready for a conversation? Start with the A Guide to Handling Life Transitions